How to improve your christian dating relationship
Make Sure You Have the Right Focus If you have the right focus, then you get the right results!I’ve learned that it’s actually not a purity focus that you and your boyfriend/girlfriend need the most to “hold your horses.” It’s not, “Lord, help me be pure,” but instead, “Lord, help me worship and honor you with my body”.Solution: Come up with a list of ways of how you can both express love and affection to each other in nonphysical ways. Verbalize the Mistakes Don’t be afraid to call a “timeout.” What I mean by “timeout” is that once a boundary has been crossed, you must verbalize it right away to one another and call it what it was: wrong and dishonoring.If you don’t have this “timeout” and “pep talk” moment, your flesh will set up a new boundary marker in that new territory.Note the phrase "practical suggestions." These are not sacrosanct biblical principles.This is not the only way the early part of a relationship might look.Although we managed to save sex until our wedding night, it was all the “not so bad” stuff that would lead us to tears and our knees before the Lord, asking for forgiveness and a fresh start.In the first half of our dating relationship, we definitely did it wrong.
This perspective shift was a game changer for my wife and me in our dating relationship.He is also an executive pastor and co-director of EPIC Commission College-age Discipleship Program at Valley Family Church in Kalamazoo, Mich. You can follow him on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter.Before continuing with this column, please review the preamble included at the beginning of this series, "Biblical Dating: How It's Different From Modern Dating." * * * PART 3: Just Friends » As Christians in dating relationships, we want to avoid hurting one another and dishonoring Christ by "defrauding" (see NASB translation of 1 Thessalonians 4:6) our brothers and sisters in Christ by implying — through word or action — a higher level of commitment to that person than we have made before God.It will be that much easier to cross that boundary again the next time.I’ve seen way too many couples cross physical boundaries, yet never verbalize it and instead, just move on down the road and plan their next date.
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Because this sort of (perhaps unintentional) deception is a particular temptation in a dating context, we need to be deliberate about avoiding it.